The Gift of Life - Keily J. Adey
Release Date -
Keily J. Adey
Book Review by Tracy Farnsworth
Keily J. Adey's The Gift of Life details her own experiences with miscarriage, pregnancy, and IVF. It's a poignant story, one that women going through similar experiences will understand. Miscarriage isn't something you should ever deal with alone. Having support is essential for your emotional wellness. If you've suffered such a loss or are struggling to become pregnant, read her book!
About 20 years ago, I suffered a miscarriage during the 14 week of pregnancy. I'd started spotting, went to my OB/GYN who said the fetus died and appeared to be about seven weeks in terms of development. She went on to tell me, words I'll never forget, "It's better this way, otherwise you'd end up with a deformed or retarded baby." Certainly not soothing words to a grieving mother. She sent me home saying at some point, the baby would come out and that when that happened, catch whatever I could without letting it hit the toilet water first and then come back and see her. Again, that's seriously what she said.
I left her office devastated, miscarried about 10 hours later, and was rushed to the ER because I started hemorrhaging. A D and C was performed, and I was again sent home with the words that it was better this way.
No one talked about miscarriages at that time. Like it was something to be ashamed of. I learned from my mother a day later that she'd suffered a miscarriage after another woman at my father's military base announced she had measles after spending hours hanging out with my mom. She was the only person I knew at that point to have a miscarriage. When a co-worker also miscarried three months later, we formed our own support group.
I was stunned by how many similarities existed between my situation and Keily Adey's. That's why I think it's an important read for any woman who's suffered a miscarriage or struggled to become pregnant. After my miscarriage, I became pregnant again about a year later. When I started spotting at 16 weeks, I was again devastated, but thankfully it wasn't a problem.
A few years later, I'd become pregnant again and miscarried at about six weeks. This experience was completely different with my new OB/GYN handing me a sheet for a grieving parents support group, after he did his exam and collected the fetal tissue for testing. I never needed that group when they discovered a few weeks later that I was still pregnant and that I'd lost a twin.
I definitely recommend The Gift of Life. It's not a long read, I had it read within an hour. It is, however, very vital when it comes to realizing you're not alone.