He Said, She Said - Jay & Laura Laffoon (Non-Fiction)
Released January 2010
Here's something you may or may not already know about me. When it comes to parenting, relationship or general advice books, I find most of them to be useless. My mind's usually made up from the beginning because I real far too many where the so-called expert really has no true expertise in that field.
A college degree does not make a single person with no children an expert on child rearing and someone who works as a marriage counselor but is either single or divorced also has no true experience. When you give advice, I like to think you actually have some insider's knowledge because you've been there!
Marital advice to me is tricky. I've been married to my husband for 19 years this May. My parents have been married for coming on 50 years. Does that make me an expert? It certainly does where our marriage is concerned, but not every marriage is alike. I'd be more tempted to put my faith in what my parents have to say, but even then their relationship is far different to mine and my husbands.
Dynamics change, people are different. In fact, people should be different. If everyone had the same goals, ideals and thoughts, life would be very, very boring. Given that, I find most advice books only offer tidbits that might be of use and the rest is often best when taken with a grain of salt.
Now that I've stated my reservations, I'll get started on He Said, She Said. Jay and Laura Laffoon have been married for twenty-five years. This definitely makes them a more trustworthy source in my mind. Does it mean all of their advice will work for you? Probably not. However, the writing is absorbing. They incorporate many personal stories in their writing that engages the reader. I laughed at Jay's story about facing a potential criminal during what his wife swore was a late-night break in.
I'll agree with them on many points. You should take time out to say or show that you love your spouse every day. My husband never leaves the house in the morning without saying I love you and giving me a kiss, just as I make it a point, even though I work from home and could sleep in later, to be up to see him off.
Jay states every man should take a shower before going to bed. I have to disagree with him on this point. It's common for people to sweat as they sleep, especially if the room is warm of if there are too many covers. In addition, anyone who's had sex knows it can be messy and morning clean-up is essential. Around here, we are very aware of water usage because we're on a well shared with the neighbor and propane usage for heat. It's a steadfast rule that we'll take one shower a day, more is only allowed if someone's sick. My son insists on showering at night and my husband takes a morning shower, both using the same deodorant brand. It's always my husband who smells the freshest at the end of a day.
In the end, He Said She Said is filled with some good advice. It's not all going to fit your situation, but you may find some helpful advice in the chapters.